With February fast approaching, we’re closer to the end of the month but are you any closer to the goals you set for the New Year?
I’d like to believe I’m heading in the right direction for this year at least but it’s got me thinking more about what I want next and from my life in general. If like me, you’d always had a rough idea of things you’d do before you had a baby then I’m sure you’ll have been where I am now with my thoughts.
I’d always imagined that I’d have done some travelling, found the place I wanted to settle, got married, bought a house (puppy too), be well into my working life and have plenty of money saved in the bank before I even thought about planning for a little one.
However, as we know, life doesn’t always fit around our plans so you have to make it work for you with the cards you’re dealt.
After finding out I was pregnant, and quickly realising that ‘the baby’ part of my plan was now going to come at the start of it all rather than the end, I now needed to cram all of it (going away, getting a house, getting married etc.) into the next 9 months before the baby arrived if I was to keep my life on track.
I now have my baby and It’s only recently dawned on me that I’ve been so caught up in the “norm”. This cycle of getting married, getting a house, and settling down in the place you’ve always known without even thinking what YOU actually want to do with your life.
Why? Because that’s what my parents did, my family have done the same and one by one my friends are too.
Yes, I’m fully aware that this clearly works for millions of people which is why I would never try to take that away from anybody. Do what makes you happy in life. I’m under no illusion that the reality aspect of cost, opportunity, work, family and other commitments people have play a huge part in the thought process for all of us.
But, what if you consider all of the above and you know you can still do it differently?
Do you have to just accept that you can’t because others around you don’t want the same things from life as you?
What if you want to see more? Experience more? Taste something new?
How many people do you hear say “I wish I’d done that but I can’t now because…”?
Do something today that scares you a little bit, everyone feels the fear of doing something new, the difference with “successful” people, is that they push through this fear and do it anyway.
One of the biggest fears that stops us from moving forward with our lives is our uncertainty in making decisions. The irony, of course, is that by not choosing, we are choosing – to suffer. We are choosing to deprive ourselves of what makes life it’s finest.
Not only that, but our fear of making mistakes. For some reason we feel we should be perfect, and forget that we learn through our mistakes. Our need to be perfect and our need to control the outcome of events work together to keep us frightened when we consider making a change.
The problem is that have we’ve been taught “Be careful! You might make the wrong decision!” Just the sound of that can bring dread to our hearts. We are afraid that the wrong decision will starve us of something – friends, lovers, money, status or whatever the correct decision is expected to give us.
We must remember there really is nothing to lose, only something to gain, whatever the choices you make or actions you take in life.
All you have to do to change your world is change the way you think.